Love and Fear
Illstration by Artist
Love and fear - sometimes they both feel the same. Fifteen years have gone by, yet his feelings and words remain suppressed within.
He is afraid she might recognise him. He pulls his cap down so she doesn’t notice him catching glimpses of her. Her long hair is dancing with the breeze. Her dainty fingers are holding a paperback, like in school. Her passion for reading hasn’t changed. Occasionally, she looks up from her book and out the window to watch the blurred buildings rush by. At every bump and turn of the bus, he is careful not to accidently touch her.
But the love, too, persists. Some part of him is dying to brush of the elbows or a bump of the knees. He craves any weird accident that might be a conversation starter.
"Oh, I’m so sorry," he would say.
"No problem," she would reply.
"May I know what book you are reading?"
"It’s called The Pool by Jim Cusk. I love the writing."
"That’s wonderful. Jim Cusk seems to be getting quite popular these days...”
The conversation would continue without veering from the topic of young authors and books, possibly without any hint of awkwardness or discomfort. But at some point, she would say, "My stop has come. I have to go. It was lovely talking to you." He would just smile and nod, not once mentioning to her that they had both attended the same school, that he had met his first crush after fifteen years, or that it was Jim Cusk whom she was sitting beside on that bus ride.
Even though love and fear felt the same, his words and feelings would remain hidden, because his fear would win.